Ok, the camera should be in manual everything (except auto focus is ok). Typically, you will want to set the ISO as low as possible, 200 on many Nikons. The shutter speed should not exceed 1/200 of a second, otherwise you will get black bands in the image. This only leaves aperture and flash output/distance as variables. If you know the aperture you wish to shoot at, set it, and adjust flash accordingly.
To know what flash output to set, a light meter is very useful, though some shoot and review the image in camera, then make adjustments on that image. You will also want to set white balance manually as well. Ideally, you will want to do a custom white balance with a true white balance device (i.e. WhiBal card, Expodisc, etc.), at a minimum, set the camera to the sunny setting (this will get you close, but likely not accurate).
TS
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